Bartolo Colon is eating himself to death!

Back in High School I was somewhat of a stud. I’d go to the batting cages every single day until the blisters on my hands would begin to bleed, and then I’d stay for another hour. Unfortunately, baseball is not what I do for a living.

I work in the Advertising Industry. The once washboard abs have been replaced by a hairy stomach and the power bars and visits to the gym by Taco Bell and weekend marathons of Grand Theft Auto on the Xbox360. I only wish I could have the career of someone like Bartolo Colon, who has twice won 20+ games and even a Cy Young Award.

What is hard to fathom is that the once very reliable Colon, who won 14 or more games in 8 straight seasons is just 11-15 in the past three years. It’s been analyzed and now over-analyzed but could it possibly have anything to do with the, oh I don’t know, extra 25+ lbs. he is carrying? Maybe?

Well, Colon put himself on the Disabled List earlier in the week after swinging a baseball bat. Talk amongst yourselves on that one.

Bartolo Colon is a fatass

Where have you gone, Rickey Henderson?

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4 comments

  1. Any wonder why the Angels let him go FA two years ago? Bart had a great career until he got injured, and hasn’t been the same since that extended stay on the DL after he won his Cy-Young. Shame really, if he had been consistent after the surgery he had a chance at the hall.

  2. Eat the Canseco bars. I guarantee you’ll lose weight from either the uncontrollable vomiting/diarrhea or any number of wonderful parasites that are most certainly attached to the moldy chocolate.

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