The Goose and the Joba

So apparently some guy named “Goose” Gossage has taken offense to the future Hall of Fame, 800-game winner Joba Chamberlain and his little “dances” when he strikes batters out. Does this Goose not realize that Joba will win twenty games as a closer this year and has a rookie card that is selling for thousands of dollars on eBay? For God sakes, what does he know about pitching anyways? If it works for Joba, let him do whatever he wants. If Joba wants to urinate on the baseball and plunk David Delluci in the face afterwards, let him as long as it helps the New York Yankees win another World Series. Who is Goose to judge?

Joba is the future of baseball, Bowman Chrome, and the next 30-game winner so please don’t read this ESPN propaganda article about Goose whatshisname.




  1. You know, there are certain older, retired players I like, which is obvious if you’ve ever seen my card collection. But…I’m getting really tired of these crotchity old sad bastards who keep talking about the integrity of the game, how to conduct yourself, wearing the pinstripes, blah blah blah. If were up to most of these old windbags, they would be the only ones in the HOF, and nobody else would ever get in. How many players has the Veteran’s Commitee voted in?

    Please keep in mind as well that these are very same asshats who viewed it as common practice, and “part of the game”, to throw purposely at your back or your head in your next at bat after homering off of them in a game.

    So….if Joba, or Zambrano, or Buchholz, or Marmol want to pump their fist every once in a while because they’re fired up, give Goose his plaque, and kindly let him know that he’s no longer part of the living, breathing version of baseball that I enjoy watching.

  2. Joba is only good because Derek Jeter kissed him as a baby.

    Besides, 800 games won is a little on the short side for this pitcher of pitchers, no?

  3. Well, it would be 1,000 wins but he will take a break from pitching at the end of his career. He will go from pitching to hitting so he can hit 90 home runs and break the record. Afterwards, he will become a manager, win 162 games and retire.

    It’s like Ted Williams’ lost years in the war but nothing like it.

  4. Actually he will win 163. That year, they will play an extra game due to the fact that one of the teams put up a run against them in one of the games. After going over the tapes, they will have spygate 2 and determine the game should have been a shutout like the rest of the 161. At that point, they will play a 163rd game and the Yankees will win 29-0 as usual. Arod, still playing, will of course hit 3 home runs and will be called a choker for flying out in the bottom of the 6th. Jeter will be praised for hitting into 5 double plays, the only yankee without a hit. Of course, those 5 double plays set up Arod’s three solo shots, as to not run up the score.

    Ok, this has gotten out of hand.

  5. within 3 years of the NY nightlife and eating NY style pizza, Joba will be too fat to pitch. Put him in KC and you never heard of him.

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